Grief
On February 20, 2014, I lost the biggest cheerleader and friend in my life, ”Mommie." It has been the most painful and growth experience that I have had to face.
Let me give you a little of my background. I am an only child and do not have any children. My immediate family consisted of grandma, mom, and uncle. My grandmother and uncle died years before my Mom. It was her and I doing life together. We served in ministry together and even taught Sunday school for two years together. I purchased a house for us in 2010, so as we age, we would be together. So, when God called her home, I was broken.
I want to talk to you today about the natural and spiritual sides of grief.
What is grief? Grief is the painful emotion of sorrow caused by the loss or impending loss of anyone or anything that has deep meaning to you. Medicine.net defines grief; as the normal process of reacting to the loss, physical, social, or occupation.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 New King James Version (NKJV)
18 For in much wisdom is much grief,
And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
The more we learn in life, it also brings about more sorrow; this can happen in many areas of life. The natural side of grief psychologists states there are stages of grief, shock, anger, denial, guilt, fear, depression, numbness, loneliness, and reflection. We can see this in Genesis 37:31-36 when Jacob learned about the death of Joseph. He tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and ashes because he experienced great grief.
Jesus experienced grief
John 11:33-36 New King James Version (NKJV)
33 Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. 34 And He said, “Where have you laid him?”
They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.”
35 Jesus wept. 36 Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”
Jesus felt all things we do, and grief was one of them. We do not wear sackcloth and ashes are not used, instead, we do cry a lot. I even remember screaming out once, I was in so much pain.
So as believers in Jesus Christ how should we respond to grief?
With the spiritual side. There are so many scriptures we can use to bring comfort during grief. But these three sticks with me:
Psalm 116:15 New King James Version (NKJV)
15 Precious in the sight of the Lord Is the death of His saints.
God values, cherish, and have high esteem for those who die with faith in Him.
Hebrews 13:5-6 New King James Version (NKJV)
I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
You might feel alone, confused, and just downright sad. Remember God, is there and will always be there.
Revelation 14:13 New King James Version (NKJV)
13 Then I heard a voice from heaven saying to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.’
“Yes,” says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors, and their works follow them.”
As time passes people, may forget about your loved ones but, heaven never does, and the things they did on earth follow them.
During this most delicate time of loss, please avoid the following statements, even though it may be true it most of the time, does not bring comfort to the natural side of grief.
You know your love one is in heaven.
If you need anything let me know (most of the time person does not know)
There is a better place.
You are not over this yet?
Grief is a process; everyone’s is different. So instead of saying the wrong thing, say nothing or give a hug. Tell them you care and are praying for them. Ask them out for coffee or a meal. Be a good listener because they need someone to listen to their heart.
Grief will happen to everyone, how we approach it and each other is so important. God loves us and wants us to be whole in Him.
Learn More: medicinenet.com/grief
Contributor: Minister Elizabeth R. Hibler